Sleep Training and Other Fun Times

Too much of this...

…led us to this...

We decided it was time to do something.  Napping on the couch was turning into arguing with Rudy to lay down and close his eyes for an hour or more until he fell asleep.  Which is fine and all, except this process ended up with him on the couch from about 1-5 every day (1:00 we started a show, 1:30 Avery was in bed, 1:30-2:30 argue with Rudy to sit still, close his eyes, etc, 2:30-3 fall asleep until around 5)… way too long and unnecessary!  And usually by the time he was falling asleep, Avery was waking up.  I needed some time, even just 30 minutes, to myself.  Time to regroup, recharge… or just to take a deep breath (Ben was still in the newborn phase of sleeping pretty much ALL the time)!  And falling asleep on the couch at bedtime turned into either John or I falling asleep with him on the couch and waking up in the middle of the night to move him to bed and get to bed ourselves, which made for some bad sleep nights for us - considering I had a newborn, too, it just wasn't working for us.

We had tried the whole "cry-it-out" thing right after Ben was born and we gave in.  It just wasn't working.  Rudy kept coming out of his room, and nap time turned into us yelling at him to stay in his room over and over.  He would be crying hysterically, begging us to not go to sleep.  He would eventually fall asleep but it was emotionally draining on all of us (and we were still stuck at the process lasting from 1-5).  It wasn't getting better or easier after almost a week.  He still spent a lot of time crying each day and the fighting him was just so hard on John and I.  And I couldn't keep that up if John was at work.  At some point I would need to feed Ben, so I couldn't stand guard by Rudy's room, waiting to usher him back to his bed.  That's about when we just let him sleep on the couch.  It worked at first because he was so happy to not be in his room, he would go to sleep right away.  And with a newborn, we just had to do what worked and what got us all some sleep.  BUT we couldn't keep that up, because like I said, it wasn't working for us.  John and I got on the same page with a plan of action and were prepping ourselves for a solid week, if not more, for some dreaded sleep training.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted.  There are so many theories and books out there on the topic, but I decided to try the suggestions of "Moms On Call" - a series that myself and several other moms I know have had good results with.  I read that toddlers who leave their rooms during nap or bedtime should be locked in their rooms.  When I first read it, I started crying.  How could I possibly lock him in his room?!  It sounded so horrible.  And what if there was an emergency?!  But then I kept reading… it reminded me that in a crib a child is essentially locked in their rooms… and in the event of an emergency, it is actually safer for the child to be in their room, right where they should be, instead of wondering the house and unable to be found.  And this way, once the door is locked, we don't have to argue and fight with Rudy to stay in his room.  His interactions with us are all positive.  It started to feel like he was being punished and sent to his room.  So now we have a little 15 minute routine of talking about the day, reading a couple books, rubbing his back or belly while singing, then hugs and kisses, and out the door.  Yes, he freaked out at first.  But once he realized he couldn't open the door, he gave up.  He actually fell asleep within 30 minutes!  And by day 3, he was sleeping in his room no problem!  He still whimpered a bit and tried to convince us not to sleep, but its like he knew he wasn't going to win so it wasn't a huge fight.  John and I were both in shock at how well and quickly it worked.  And his overall mood and ours was improved a ton!  I guess timing is everything.         

Having such good days of sleep led us to some "special" events as rewards, like the BSS Garden Party:

Face painting!

Fun rides!

Rudy wasn't brave enough for the ladybugs

but he loved the fun-house!

We didn't last too long… it was a hot night!

(When I am this behind in blogging, I usually use my pictures as a guide - to remind me of all we have been doing and what's been going on - so this may seem random, but it just so happened to be the order of events…) 

One morning we were playing in the living room when Avery started complaining of her foot hurting.  She wasn't giving it up.  She kept crying, wouldn't walk on it, cried if she attempted to use it, etc.  She is a pretty tough girl and usually gets over an bump or bruise really quickly, so naturally I started to worry.  John had been on the floor playing, but nothing seemed to really happen that could explain why she was in pain.  I decided to take her to prompt care…better safe than sorry, right?  Rudy wanted to go with (insisted on going with), so John took Ben to the store (where we had all planned on going together).  John thought it was nothing.  I thought she broke her ankle.  Somewhere in the middle… well more close to nothing… she had a splinter.  Nothing like a trip to prompt care for a splinter!  Never a dull moment… 

Rudy made himself comfortable at the doctor's office… lounging back with some snacks… 

We have been spending lots of time outdoors on our new courtyard.  The pool is a big hit.  The kids are always wanting to get in it, although they rarely stay in it very long.  Getting the hose out and filling it up is actually what they like doing.

Poor Ben is still a little too little to play in the pool, but we strip him down and keep him in the shade to help him stay cool 

…or he stays snuggled up...

 indoors, and watches from the windows.

And since it took me forever to finish writing this, we are actually in a new phase of sleep issues.  Why is sleep such a huge deal all the time?!  Well obviously because when our kids and us get good sleep, life is much more enjoyable… but what a pain getting all the much needed sleep!  

We were going good until we had a couple weeks of fun that threw off our schedules… we took a trip to Iowa and came home to have Ben's baptism the next weekend, followed by me back to working a bit.  I'll share more about those later, but since this was about sleep I'll continue on with that… 

Rudy was really struggling with nap time again.  A couple days he just didn't get a nap.  On the days he did nap, he would cry in his room for 30 minutes (after I spent 15 minutes in his room with him), fall asleep for maybe an hour, then wake up grumpy and cry for another 30 minutes while I tried to get him to snap out of it.  He used to wake up like that every once in awhile, but this was every day.  He is inconsolable and just a whiny, grumpy kid when waking up.  In the past, he would be a total nightmare in the evenings if he didn't get a nap that afternoon. But I started to notice that the nights weren't so bad.  There were moments where I thought, "Someone is clearly tired and should have had a nap!"  But it would pass.  And honestly, even when he did get a nap, he still has moments of acting out.  I began to think it just wasn't worth the fight, tears, grumpiness, etc for a 1 hour nap.  Especially because… ready for this?...on the nights of no nap, he went to bed SO easily and was out by about 8:30.  So I could have baths at 7, show at 7:30 while I feed Ben, Avery in bed at 8, Rudy in bed at 8:30… having all the kids in bed at 8:30 without struggling with anyone is amazing!  I decided to mix nap time up a bit.  For whatever reason, Rudy just does not want to be in his room at nap time.  It is the oddest thing.  I have tried to offer him his iPad, books, games, toys, etc and he doesn't want any of it. HOWEVER, he's happy to sit and play with his iPad in the toy room.  Or he sometimes sneaks into my bed after I've left him in the toy room.  But the awesome thing is, he stays by himself, quietly, but at least an hour!  I am aiming for 2 hours, but I'll take what I can get right now!  A couple times he has even fallen asleep!  So bottom line, if he's tired enough, he will sleep.  And if not, I get some quiet time during the day.

Until the next sleep issue arises...