Getting my things ready for work and getting myself ready for work takes a lot of time. And it has to be done around Rudy's schedule. Packing my lunch, cleaning bottles, pump parts...here is a preview of my day...(if it were perfect)
5:30 am -- rise
5:30-6:30 am -- pump and clean the parts and bottles to get ready to take to work
6:30-7:00 am -- shower and get ready for work (which consists of my hair pulled back because I have no interest in getting out the curling iron or staightener)
7:00-7:30 am -- feed Rudy
7:30-8:00 -- give orders to whoever is watching him
8:00 am -- get to work
10:00 - 10:45 am -- pump and clean the parts
2:00-2:45 pm -- pump and clean the parts
5:00 ish pm -- get home and empty out the milk I pumped into bottles or bags and clean the bottles (after I snuggle Rudy, of course) so they are ready to use later
until 7 ish pm -- hang out with Rudy (my FAVORITE part of the day)
7:00 ish-8:00 ish pm -- feed Rudy and get him ready for bed
8:00-8:45 pm -- pump and clean the bottles and parts so they are ready for the morning
8:45 pm -- pack my lunch, clean the bottles from the day, get the bottles ready for the next day
9:00 pm until bedtime -- Me time
So now if it isn't "perfect", the timing is off, but I still have to do all these things. I am not complaining in any way! It is just an adjustment from not having to be anywhere at any certain time and not having to have stuff packed and ready. And once the pumping is out of the picture, things will be lots easier!
Tuesday it felt really hard. Wednesday was easier. It will eventually become second nature and so routine that it won't feel like work -- just like everything else with taking care of Rudy. It used to feel like a lot to take care of him, and it still is, but it is so routine and second-nature that it doesn't seem "hard."
It has been so incredibly hard to give up control of Rudy and trust John and LeeAnn to take care of him how I would take care of him. And its so hard because it is impossible for them to do that. They will each do things differently and that is perfectly ok. What works for me, doesn't always work for everyone. And the more they do it, the better Rudy will get and the more relaxed I will be. But more than that, I miss him SOOO much during the days. I cry myself to work every morning and cry putting him to sleep because the day is already over and I'm lucky if I got 2 hours with him. While it is nice to "get out of the house" and "interact with adults" -- a couple hours would do it...not 3 days! I will get through this... I will adjust...We will all be fine...
Rudy, the little stinker, has decided not to eat from me anymore. Well, at least not very well. I won't go into all the details of it, but I think he got used to the bottle and how much easier milk comes out that he will not work at eating from me. So I now pump for him and feed him breastmilk from bottles. He gets 3 breastmilk bottles a day and 2 formula bottles. I will progressively lessen the breastmilk bottles until he is strictly on formula.
Yesterday Rudy ate his 4th bottle (he usually gets 5) about 5:30. He fell asleep at 7 and was impossible to try and wake at 8:30. It was pitiful really. I had the breastmilk bottle ready to go (which means I had to throw it all away) and he would not wake up to take it. I changed his clothes, diaper, tried to sit him up...nothing would get those eyes open! So needless to say, he was up at 3 am this morning, ate and played until about 5:30. Now if you see the schedule above, that really threw things off. Lets just say I have not had much sleep! Oh well...we will get there eventually! Also, I had a meeting at 10 am today at an agency. Didn't get back to the office until 11:45. Guess I will only be pumping once today. I have a feeling this pumping at work business is not going to last long. This has just not been my day.
I tried out some new toys for Rudy. He has been wanting to "stand" if he is being held, so I thought these might buy me some free time to do other things than hold him. He is a tad too small still so I can't exactly leave his side when he is playing because he can easily fall over or his head falls down, but he has fun with them.
Rudy glued to the TV after eating...full belly and so relaxed!
Rudy's halloween pajamas
These are just a couple quick snaps from last night. All 2 hours I got with him yesterday :( He is growing like crazy...John says its because he eats "so damn much" -- can't argue!
So the moral of this post...I can't wait for Friday to get all day with him!
Jenn, I love his skeleton pajamas! It will get more routine. I recognized early on that all of that would have been too much for me, and luckily, David was okay with me not going back to work after Sophie was born. Sophie never slept through the night until she was on formula exclusively, something to think about! I hope you are giving him the formula at night, it may help him sleep better.
ReplyDeleteHe is so adorable, I can hardly wait to visit again!