Has it really been since October 12 that I blogged?!

Guess so!  We have been going non-stop around here.  Last Friday I hosted a baby shower for Robyn and Baby Levi Jacob.  It was a lot of fun putting together and even more fun that evening!  We had a good turn-out, which was great because I haven't seen hardly any of my friends in quite some time.  Rudy got crabby pretty much right away and wouldn't let anyone else but me hold him.  A couple times he fell asleep for a short time and I was able to hand him off.  But those didn't las long!  Unfortunately, I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked.  I only snapped a few before everyone got there.  So bummed about that!

Rudy's baptism was Sunday.  It was so nice seeing all our family that came.  We had several out-of-towners for the weekend.  Tony and Kate even stayed with us, which was so great.  We really are lucky to have such great families that are willing to travel for little Rudy.  If only the weekend could have been longer so we had more time with everyone... or more spread out (I know this is impossible!) because come Sunday night, we were all incredibly tired!!  I think John and I are still catching up.  We were in bed last night at 8:30.

I had lots of help, as usual, and wouldn't have been able to pull it off without them.  Thank you Mom, Dad, LeeAnn, and Ray!!!

I've decided to start weaning Rudy off the breast milk.  As much as it pains me and makes me feel guilty, I've got to get over those thoughts and feelings.  I am going to try and make it last a month before he is strictly on formula, so he will have 4 months of breast milk.  I am doing it for a variety of reasons.  I worked at the Studio on Tuesday (which, by the way, I spent all day Monday and Tuesday morning crying off and on and the whole drive there...I don't know how I am going to handle what's coming next week...) and had my first "pump at work" experience.  I was only able to get 8 ounces and Rudy drank 12 while I was gone.  Every time I've ever pumped, except maybe once, have I been able to get the amount he would have taken from a bottle.  I've read about the pump not being "as effective" for some, and I must be one of those.  Unless I want to spend my days off pumping between every feeding, which I don't, I will run out of frozen milk for him.  And since I don't pump as much as he takes, I will start to "dry-up" earlier.  The thought of all these things has been stressing me out so I am probably making even less as we speak.  It is such a frustrating process.  I am too much of a perfectionist, planner, organizer, and the like, that nursing has taken its toll on me.

Also, I want to stop feeling like I am the only one who can take care of Rudy and if its not me, its a hassle.  Even if I leave I have to worry about my comfort, when I need to get back, timing any drinks I may have (the alternative is to pump and dump the "bad" milk and that is a hassle, too).  I have to know his schedule and routine at every part of the day because it effects me.  Then people think I am so overprotective or anal (which is partly true), but I have to be.  And not that I want to leave him more, but even being home with him and John being able to feed him, will be nice.

And another reason -- pumping at work will likely take 1.5-2 hours each day (at the rate my milk comes).  I am only working 24.5 hours a week and if my work isn't done in those amount of hours, I still have to finish it.  I will need every bit of those 24.5 hours to get my work done.  The thought of working overtime...well, no thanks!

I have had the most frustrating time figuring out what formula to use.  The doctor said to get lactose free and that I wouldn't need to do soy (since I am still not eating dairy I called to see if that's what I'd need to get), but I was unable to find anything that said it was "lactose free."  I bought some from Sam's before we left for Michigan...just in case we would need it.  It was a "gentle" kind for fussiness and gas, which Rudy suffers with.  We never ended up using it that weekend, though.  So I called the doctor again on Monday to see if what I bought was right.  Well it wasn't.  She said it should say "lactose free" and is in a purple can.  Ok, so back to the store I go.  Babies R Us and Target had no "lactose free" in a purple can.  There were 2 purple cans...the gentle kind I had bought and one other kind..  so I bought the other kind.  $28 for 19 bottles!  That means about $10 a day for this formula.  I called the doctor when I got home and told them what I couldn't find and what I bought..."No, that is not it."  WTH, people?!  The doctor now said she DOES want him to be on the soy formula and if I am cutting dairy (which I have been doing for months now under her direction), I need to be taking 1200 mg of calcium a day.  Oh, wonderful.  Glad to know that now.  The soy formula was about $5 a day.  I talked to John and we decided to try the gentle kind for now.  It was $20 for 56 bottles, or about $2.10 per day.  It was easy for me to quit the dairy and we figured "why not" if there is any chance it was causing his crabbiness.  But for the difference in price, we are going to see if his crabbiness might have been from some other reason those days...with everything we had going on, we weren't great about paying attention to my food and his moods and consider other factors.  So more to come on this subject.

And the most awful subject...I go back to work in 5 days.  I can't believe these 12 weeks have gone so fast.  For awhile, I thought it would be good for me to go back.  But now that Rudy is getting bigger and has so much more personality, I really don't want to miss anything.  I love being with him.  Tuesday at the Studio was not fun.  But at least I knew I was back with him on Wednesday and the rest of the week.  And I have to add, nothing was better than pulling into the garage and seeing all of my boys standing at the back door waiting for me.  I love them all to pieces.  Of course he was a perfect angel for John.  He ate, played, slept long naps...all day long, on a great routine.  John said, "I don't know why you act like this is so much work."  He will eat those words one day!  Come Wednesday, he was crabby.  He is something else!  I am so lucky I only have to go back for 3 days a week and that he will be at home with family.  And it will be good for John to get alone time with him 2 days a week.  What Dad is lucky enough to get that? -- I know all this.  But it still is hard!  Ugh!

Halloween pictures!!  What a funny photo shoot this was!!  Trying to get a baby and a dog to cooperate was interesting.  My mom came over to help...it took two different sessions...and loud, spastic routines of my mom's doing...to get a few good shots.  But it was worth it...Cute, cute babes!! :)

I started this post on Tuesday and it is now Sunday...Ugh!  I can't keep up!

I have been giving Rudy one bottle of formula each day since Thursday.  So far, the "gentle" kind has not given him any problems.  He takes 6-7 ounces.  After each bottle, he falls asleep for such long naps -- like 2-3 hours.  And for the last 2 nights, he has slept from 7pm-ish to 6am-ish!  A few more nights of that (need to make sure it wasn't just a couple good nights and get overexcited), and he will be put to sleep in his own room!  I'm starting to think this formula thing is the way to go.  I have noticed that when he feeds from me, he wants to eat about every 2 hours.  It has been the case for a few days.  It makes me think he isn't getting as much as he would like from me and when he gets a full amount from the bottle, he is much better.  So now I'm not so sure it will take a whole month before my milk is gone, but I'm just going to take it one day at a time.

I have more pictures, but if I wait to load them on my computer and add them, this post may not get added for another week!  So more pictures soon...I've got laundry to fold and a bed that's calling my name!  Speaking of, when I wake up tomorrow, it's my last day of maternity leave... tears...