S.A.H.M.

It's official.

I am now a stay-at-home-mom.  Now that the decision is made, I don't know why it was such a hard decision to make.  I turned in my resignation letter today and a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

These last few months with Avery and Rudy have been the best few months of my life.  I honestly can say that I have never been happier.  I've never felt so at ease and good about where I am.  It just feels right when I am with them (crazy, hectic, stressful, a complete tornado of a mess, sure, but still the best).

After much deliberation and discussion with John, we decided that me being at home with them was what was best for our family.  I don't intend to be at home long-term.  An advantage of having them so close in age is that in just three short years, Rudy will be in full-time preschool (or kindergarden) and Avery will be in part-time preschool.  I plan on going back to work, at least part-time, then.

So how's this going to work?  <--- I'm guessing is a popular question.

We worked out our budget and made cuts where we could (like see-ya later cable... considering we mostly watch Barney and Elmo, we figured we can sacrifice American Idol for $100/month) and we will have to be "cost-concious" as much as possible.  In addition, John is going to try to find extra work... I can't tell you how many times people have asked us or our families if John does work on the side because they need this, that, or whatever else fixed, redone, etc.  He will also jump on any opportunity to help my dad with tree work and make a strong effort to never pass up an extra shift at work.  Obviously, I don't want to stay home and have John off working all the time.  That's not fair to John or the kids.  But a little extra will go a long way.

I was nervous about quitting because I never thought I'd want to be home full-time.  I enjoyed going to work a few days, getting out of the house, interacting with other adults, having a purpose outside of the home.  And all that is still true, but three days just seemed like too much right now.  And did I mention that in just three short years the kids won't be at home all day???... these three years at home, I will never be able to get back.

And I would like to find something either once a week or here and there, too.  I plan to go back to working during tax season and start making jewelry (and maybe some other fun things) again for the Studio...  And whatever else may come my way.

I wasn't happy at the job I was at.  The work was just ok.  The stress was wayyy too much.  It just wasn't worth my time away from home.  At the very least, this will give me the fresh start to find a job that I am passionate about.  Because when I am passionate about something... watch out!  I'm excited to have the flexibility to do small jobs that I want to do over the next few years and excited to find something great down the road.

I am terribly sad to say goodbye to the friends I made at work.  I worked hard to develop relationships with my staff and I work with some really great people.  My office has been decorated for birthdays and arriving babies; countless lunches have been shared; jokes and pranks that probably no one else would find funny considering they come from a group of accountants; we have been to each others weddings, welcomed babies, and were by each others sides when things weren't so good... and that hot cup of coffee on Tuesday morning while I'm sitting at my desk in a quite office, showered, dressed, and able to actually finish the cup while it's warm ... that will absolutely be missed.

But I am gaining so much more.  I will never regret trying to stay home and being there for my babies when they need me most.  But I would absolutely regret not trying.  I am confident that we can make it work and I am looking forward to these next few years!

Who wouldn't want to spend their days with these precious children?!

Snow, Snow, Go Away

...you know the popular Spring song, usually sung "Rain, Rain, Go Away"... welllllll...

Springfield had a record 17" snowfall March 24-25.  They were reporting a snow storm coming through, but I was in denial.  The day before the high was near 50 and the boys were outside playing and we grilled out... no way was Mother Nature going to rain on this parade... but I was wrong.  Really wrong.  It snowed and snowed and snowed.  Gran was over and ended up getting snowed in at our house.  It was declared a Level 2 Emergency and no one was to be on the roads unless completely necessary.  Papa got called into work at 11:00 am on Sunday and didn't get off work until 7:00 am on Monday.  And then trying to leave on Monday morning, Gran got stuck in our driveway (along with our neighbors).  It was (and still is) a snowy mess!

Here's a view of our courtyard:

 The Easter eggs Gran and Rudy hung up a couple weeks ago are completely hidden.

And I stole this picture from our next-door neighbor who crossed the street to take a picture of the creek in front of our house... so pretty...but so not welcomed in Spring!

So what to do when we are snowed in for a day????  Finally paint the birdhouse Gran had brought over weeks before!  We stripped Rudy down (even though the paint was washable!), except he wouldn't let us take off his shoes, and let him have at it.

 Avery wanted to be part of the activity.  She likes to keep a close eye on her big brother!

 "This guy is crazy"

 And I'm not sure what has more paint...Rudy's birdhouse or his belly!

The birdhouse is backless because we are going to hang it on one of the windows so Rudy can see birds in it from inside our house.. how fun is that??  Rudy is going to love it.  One of his favorite things to do is look out the windows and try and find birds or squirrels...and he is SO happy when he spots one!

Rudy wanted a popsicle for a snack... looks like a bright, sunny day behind him, huh?

Here's when I switch the focus... 

Rudy has kicked his highchair to the curb.  He was fighting it for awhile.  He never wanted to get in it and when he did, he was always trying to stand up in it, much to our frustration.  So I finally bought a booster seat (that he is strapped into) and he is sooo much happier!

Following our snowed-in day, Rudy came down with a stomach bug.  He spent the early morning through mid-afternoon throwing up.  When we (because Gran was still over) went into his room about 6:30 on Monday morning, he had thrown up all over himself and his crib.  He had woke up around 4:30 that morning, but I just thought it was like the other times he randomly wakes up early, and made him "cry it out" until he fell back asleep again.  I felt (and still feel) like the worst mom ever for that.  He seemed fine that morning, though, until about 10:30.  He was crabbier than usual and just wanted to sit on the couch and snuggle.  About 11:00 he asked (in his way) to go back to him room to rock (which is so unusual!) and he fell asleep by 11:30.  I came out and about noon he started crying.  Through the monitor I could tell something was off.  He was hunched over crying and then just sitting up crying.  Normally when he wants out and cries, he stands at the same corner and reaches for the door.  So I went in and he had again thrown up on himself and the bed.  We stripped the bed again and gave him a quick outfit change and went into our bed.  He could barely keep his eyes open he was so tired and he just whimpered.  Poor guy did not feel good.  Then back in our bed, just as we got settled in, he threw up again.  Quick outfit change and sheet change (yet again)... third times a charm, right?  We at least had a system down when he again threw up and it didn't require a sheet or outfit change that time (high-five Mom and Dad!).  By 1:00 he was done throwing up and was able to fall asleep.  Thankfully, Avery was asleep during all of this!  Our water bill will probably be doubled from all the sheets/blankets/outfits we washed that day.  When he woke up from his nap at 3:30, he was a new man and so far so good.  He never had a fever, either... I don't know what that was but I'm glad its over.

Finger-crossed (and lots of Lysol), this little peach stays healthy!

Parties, Parties, and More Parties

We have been regular party-people lately.  Rudy is going to think it's the norm to blow out candles and have cake for dessert (and sometimes breakfast!) every week.  First up, Papa's 51st birthday was March 14, 2013.  We went out to dinner with Gran and Papa, then came back to our house for cake and presents... 

 Rudy loves to open presents... 

 especially when the present is shoes!!

 ...which of course he thought were for him and he had to put on immediately

March 14 also happened to coincide with Miss Avery's 3 month birthday!  Here are a few pictures from  her morning photo shoot:

Next we had a St. Patrick's Day party to go to with the kids on the following Saturday morning at the Davlin's.  Unbelievably, I have just one picture from the day... Avery and her boyfriend, Dominic VanDerWal.  What a cute couple :)

...so I had to steal a couple pictures from Robyn

(Rudy's shirt had a puppy on the front wearing green sunglasses... that he pointed out at a recent trip to the mall... just for the record, he was festive :) )

We had a lot of fun at the party.  Rudy was hamming it up, dancing, eating yummy food, trying to steal beers, playing with all kinds of toys... it was a blast!  Avery was as good as can be, too!  John and I dropped the kids back at home with Ray and LeeAnn and we went to the parade downtown.  It was nice to get out without the kids and see our friends..but what a long day!  

Then we had mama's birthday to celebrate!  We kept with tradition (of just two years in a row now) and went to the mall in the morning to visit the Easter bunny.  Rudy was not loving this idea.  He held onto John awfully tight when we were in his presence and kept pointing to the carousel that was much more appealing.  But we got him on his lap real quick and only got 2 shots...

Normally, you just pick one to get printed but the lady was nice enough to give us both... mostly because we only got 2 and also because the second was pretty priceless

 Rudy's demands were answered and John rode the horses with him and he was much happier!

 Top that off with a train ride, and life was pretty good for Mr. Ru

 The downfall was when we were heading out and decided to pop into the shoe store to try on some sandals for Rudy to see what size he would wear... he found the new D Rose shoes on the shelf and slipped them on (only one of course because that's all that is on display and he could slip it on since it was wayyy too big for him).  Needless to say, he left the store in tears because we didn't let him get the shoes.  The shoe salesman said, "Kid sure knows his shoes."  Sir, you have no idea.  

 Back at home with my favorite little babes :)

 Jenna dropped by some delicious cupcakes and we couldn't help trying them out!

 Oh and did I mention the kids bought me an iPad mini for my birthday?? ... thanks, Rudy!

I'm pretty sure he's had his hands on it more than I have!

 To top off the celebrations, we had dinner and cake at Grandma and Grandpa Cicci's with Gran and Papa 

 Rudy is a candle blowing champ now

And besides all of that, we have just been hanging out!  Avery got all dressed in pretty pink for a Fish Fry dinner Friday night

 And the bibs have become just about a must lately.  The girl drools and spits up so much!

 Such a pretty smile!

 Rudy is in love with Rufus, to say the least.  He has burned that bridge pretty good in the past, though.  Rufus is a little hesitant of him, but I'm sure Rudy will be able to win him over again.  Rudy makes such an attempt to get Rufus to play with him... throws him toys, tries to get him to run up and down the halls with him, etc... Rufus plays along occasionally and Rudy is in heaven.  Other times, he stands and shakes his hands as if to say, "Why won't he play with me??"  

I wish I could adequately describe how hysterical Rudy is.  He expressions, mannerisms, and ways of talking to us are just too funny.  He makes me laugh out loud at least once a day.

 Rudy was laying with Avery, showing her how to push the buttons

And just look how strong this big girl is getting!

Love my little peach :)

And sadly, as I type this it is snowing inches and inches of snow.  From my view, I'd say at least 9 inches so far.  Are my poor babies going to ever get to play outside this year?!?!  Doesn't Mother Nature know its Spring???

Come on Spring!!!

We are anxiously awaiting Spring weather... every day we can feel it getting closer.. we check the weather daily .. but sadly, the tempts get colder each day I check (all next week was in the 50's, now its 40's) and today it snowed :(

But we are pushing through with our indoor fun!

Rudy's newest favorite movie is Sesame Street "Kids Favorite Songs" -- needless to say, I could sing those songs in my sleep, and probably do.  We were watching one morning and Rudy had to have Avery get in his chair because he wanted to be closer to the basketball hoop..

And speaking of basketball, Rudy has a new obsession.  Basketballs.  Basketball players.  Basketball anything.  John passes a billboard on the way to the FitClub that has basketball players on it and Rudy always reacts and points at it.  He loves to flip through John's Sports Illustrated and look for basketballs and point out any that he finds.  He is happy to watch a basketball game on TV.  He plays with his basketballs all day, they are the first thing he goes to in the morning.  He always picks out his pajamas with basketballs on them if they are clean and his t-shirt with a basketball on it.  We recently went to the mall and had to run into Dick's.  The walls and walls of basketballs about put him into hysterics.  We didn't let him get one and a major fit was thrown when we left.  Then Rudy, Avery and I went back to the mall with Grandma Cicci and were having lunch in the food court, when Rudy spied Dick's right behind us.  So much for lunch.  Grandma had to quickly take him in.  I could hear him squealing in delight from our table.  And of course Grandma couldn't say no, so Rudy walked out proudly with his new basketball.  He wouldn't put it down and even had to take a nap with it that day.  Oh and did I mention he also calls basketballs "Dada"??  So now firetrucks, basketballs, and footballs are all "dada."  I think he is trying to say "ba-ba" for basketball, but it comes out sounding like "dada."

And we can add "choo-choo" to our list of words.  Rudy is also a sucker for a train.  He puts his arm up and says, "choo-choo" for train.  Papa and Gran recently bought Rudy a wooden train whistle and he loves making a "choo-choo" sound!  Rudy had a blast on the train at the mall during our latest trip with Grandma!

And to add to the noise in our house even more, they also bought him a harmonica that same day.  Rudy's a pretty talented music man.  He plays it well, even tries to swipe it across his mouth for a dramatic finish...

John and I spent an entire 24 hours away from home without kids at the beginning of the month to celebrate Aunt Dawn the Great's 50th birthday in the Chicago area.  It was so difficult leaving our babes (even in great hands), but it was nice to have some time together and we had a really fun night!  And to make things easier, pumping went great and wasn't a trouble at all.

Party animals!

And we were able to make a trip to see Dada the next day

 Look at that face!

 Avery was actually awake during our visit, for the first time...

the loves of my life :)

 Having fun with car tracks

 Climbing on the cars at the mall

And of course we have made some trips to Scheels, where John and Rudy climbed through the play tunnels 

 This is yet another reason this kid has to be supervised at all times.  Notice his blue lip?  And the marker below without a tip?  Exhausting.  When do kids stop putting everything into their mouths?!

 Rudy is really not thrilled about his old stuff being handed over to Avery, he's just not ready to let go...I can totally relate 

Speaking of Avery, she is a lady of mystery lately.  Her routine is nonexistent.  I can't make sense of any pattern with her... she gets close to what I think will be a routine and then she does the complete opposite for a few days, which is where we are right now.  Oh well.  I am just taking it one day at a time and not letting myself get stressed about it.  But I am getting tired about it.  Avery has been waking up in the middle of the night to eat the last few nights.  It's just once, but enough that it zaps what little extra energy I have during the days.  She was doing so good, I hope this is just part of a growth spurt, maybe??  Nursing is still going well and she's not fussy but for maybe a bit at night, so I can't complain too much.  I'm sure it will work itself out.

She is getting more and more personality and I just LOVE it.  She is a chatting, smiling, happy little peach.  I was changing the biggest blow out in our recorded history the other day and she giggled.  She's laughed before, but this was a deep, real giggle.  It brought tears to my eyes.  It was one of the sweetest things I have ever heard.  It's those types of giggles from Rudy -- the deep, "this is sooo hilarious", giggles -- that I absolutely adore and I can't wait to hear them more regularly from Avery.

She was having a pretty serious conversation with Mr. Octopus 

 Look at those cheeks!  I was holding her on my lap the other day when I noticed that from her profile her lips are not quite visible because her cheeks overtake them.  So darn cute!  

 Rudy thought she needed a light

Rudy is a good big brother.  He still has his moments every so often that he would rather Avery be in her swing all day, but at least he is always sweet and gentle with her.

Like this particular morning when he wanted to get in her bed with her to give her a kiss

 and her pacey.  

And Avery can't get enough of Rudy.  She always smiling whenever he's around her and she can't take her eyes off him when he's up playing.

John and I have some pretty great kids